NOV. 21, 9:35 P.M.: A local community center in the 1000 block of Carter Street proved an alluring target for a creative vandal or vandals.
A vandal or vandals easily broke into the center the night before because "there are several areas that are unsecured," Officer Correia reports. Perfect! The report continues by chronicling the following chaotic spree: "The suspect(s) used an unknown projectile to damage five overhead lights in the southwest parking lot. The suspect(s) cut three holes in the fence surrounding the basketball court to the east of the parking lot. The suspect(s) spray-painted a bench outside of the basketball court with ‘snakes and dizzle.' The suspect(s) used an unknown tool to damage the water fountain on the northeast corner of the basketball court. The suspect(s) removed a metal trash can that was bolted to the ground, by unknown means, with an unknown tool. The suspect(s) cut the lock on the … fence pool area. Once inside this area, the suspect(s) threw rocks, chains and locks into the pool. The suspect(s) spray painted ‘Dupe Boi D' on the playground, light pole and sidewalk on the northeast area of the property."
Quit a little rampage to go unnoticed. But "snakes and dizzle"? What the hell is going on here? The report also notes a projectile was used to damage an overhead light near the pool, "causing glass to fall into the kiddie pool." Total damages were estimated at $7,600.
NOV. 21, 10:47 P.M.: What does one steal when one breaks into a place that fixes trucks? Kitchen appliances, of course.
On Nov. 20, near midnight, a man wearing dark-blue clothing — a perfect way to blend in with the midnight surroundings — scaled a barbed-wire fence and entered the business located in the 900 block of West Gore Street. Once inside, the dude grabbed a coffee pot and microwave, and somehow managed to leap back over the barbed wire with said kitchenware in hand. Before fleeing for good, he broke into a truck on the lookout for more treats, but found nothing worthy. The appliances were valued at $500 a pop, making that one snazzy coffee pot.On Nov. 20, near midnight, a man wearing dark-blue clothing — a perfect way to blend in with the midnight surroundings — scaled a barbed-wire fence and entered the business located in the 900 block of West Gore Street. Once inside, the dude grabbed a coffee pot and microwave, and somehow managed to leap back over the barbed wire with said kitchenware in hand. Before fleeing for good, he broke into a truck on the lookout for more treats, but found nothing worthy. The appliances were valued at $500 a pop, making that one snazzy coffee pot.
NOV. 21, 3 P.M.: Some time between this date and Nov. 25, while the owner of a contracting business in the 40 block of North Texas Avenue was likely home enjoying turkey with all the trimmings, a sneaky burglary occurred.
The business' rolling gate was cracked open just far enough so a person could gain entry without having to bother with the chain or padlock. Then, having slipped inside, the skinny felon purloined $1,000 worth of ceramic tile from the business' storage area.
Interestingly enough, "there are several homeless people who sleep in an alcove" at a Baptist church in the same block, reports state. "The stolen tiles would have taken some time to transport through the gate, as the opening was not large enough to permit the transportation of the tiles in mass quantity." The assumption is that someone knows something about what happened; or maybe that the homeless folk took the tiles themselves.
NOV. 26, 4:59 A.M.: A 27-year-old man awoke early this Sunday morning to a clamorous noise emanating from his front porch on the 4400 block of South Kirkman Road. He headed for the porch to scope things out and realized something was missing: a table saw, mustard in hue, valued at $200. Our victim then noticed what looked like a Pontiac Grand Am leaving the apartment parking lot — a sign that one rather crafty burglar was behind the wheel with extensive woodwork plans in mind.
NOV. 26, 10:55 P.M.: Yet another reason why you should learn to drive a manual-transmission car: The guy trying to steal it may not be able to drive it.
A 27-year-old man was pulling into his apartment complex in the 4800 block of Raleigh Street when he spotted two men dressed in black sitting atop an electric transformer in front of a building. Still chatting on his $150 Samsung cell phone, the man parked, hopped out of his 2007 Toyota Corolla and headed home, disregarding the fishy twosome. Avoiding contact with the couple was impossible, however, as they approached and one of the two asked for a smoke. The victim asked the stranger to repeat himself. He did, but this time he changed his request slightly:
"Give me everything you got or I'll shoot you," he said.
Meanwhile, suspect No. 2 introduced a silver semi-automatic pistol, prompting the victim to dish out about $17 from his pocket, a gold chain necklace valued at $200 from his neck and the cell phone. He tried to salvage the only item left: his car. While he was slipping back inside, the duo demanded that he step back out — they were taking it, too. He walked away.
But when the hoodlums jumped in the new Toyota, police reports state, they "realized they were unable to drive a standard-transmission vehicle" and "told him that they were not taking his car, he could have it back."email@example.com