June 24, 12:47 p.m.: Beware! There's a light-fingered inker on the streets of Orlando! Officer Torres was dispatched in reference to a commercial burglary at Hardcore Tattoos, on the 2400 block of East Robinson Street. During the night, intruders hopped the 6-foot-high privacy fence and smashed the glass door in the back of the building to gain entry. "Once inside, they removed an HP printer, tattoo-making machines and related supplies. Tattoo art work was removed, as well as tattoo books and magazines," reports state. The perp(s) exited the premises through the same door they entered, but rather than hopping the fence again they "unscrewed the latch to the rear fence gate, which was padlocked, and exited the premises," reports state.
Though distraught that someone cleared out his business, the 20-year-old victim notified the officer that the perp(s) were probably caught on tape from the security camera at the business next door. Total estimated damages: $100. Total estimated cost of items stolen: $6,675. The possibility the perp(s) lack tattooing experience and might give themselves ink poisoning: Priceless.
June 24, 5:18 p.m.: Officers Brown and Buffkin responded to a commercial burglary alarm at Performance Mufflers and Brakes, in the 1200 block of South Orange Blossom Trail, and met with our 35-year-old complainant. Investigation revealed that suspect(s) unknown tried to pry open one of the doors, then used a hammer to pound their way through a wall to gain access; police were unable to determine whether the point of entry was the newly formed hole in the wall or the pried-open door.
Once inside the establishment, the perp(s) removed a piece of wood that covered a hole leading from a bathroom to an office and crawled through. Inside the office they rummaged through drawers, pried a cash register open and stole approximately $1,600 to $2,000 in cash. The suspect(s) left the office and entered the waiting room where they "removed a Snap-on MT2500 programmable diagnostic scanner for automobiles," reports state. The perp(s) then left the building through the door, but left the scanning tool near one of the holes.
Total estimated damage to building: $1,000 ($800 for the hole put in the outside wall and an additional $200 for damage to drywall later discovered). Total estimate for theft: $7,000 ($2,000 in cash and $5,000 for the scan tool that was recovered).
June 26, 9:33 a.m.: Officer Cooney met with our 44-year-old complainant on the 300 block of Victor Avenue (Orlando Housing Authority) in reference to a commercial burglary. It appears that sometime between 6 p.m. June 21 and 9 a.m. June 25 suspect(s) "entered the office and poured glue over various electronic equipment," reports state. Damage to equipment is estimated at $800. The perp(s) gained access through the front door "perhaps by using a thin device to unlock the door."
According to police reports, "For unknown reasons, `the complainant` did not notify the police and waited until today's date to do so." Could it be because: "The deadbolt to the door is nonfunctional and the alarm to the office was not activated"?
June 26, 1:37 p.m.: Some lawn-care fanatics will go to any lengths to get the right tool for the job. Officer Zedick met with our 46-year-old complainant in reference to a commercial burglary in the 2800 block of Pennington Road. It appears that sometime between 1:30 p.m. June 23 and 11:30 a.m. June 26, suspect(s) unknown — apparently in a frenzy — entered the premises. According to police reports, the perp(s) "entered the property at an unknown location … peeled away sheet metal covering the door with an unknown tool … then kicked a hole through the foam insulation and peeled the metal away on the other side of the door." This granted the determined perp(s) access to the garage, where they "took a push lawn mower ($500) and a weed-whacker ($150)," reports state. The suspect(s) escorted themselves out of the building through a different door, which they unlocked. The police report reflects that estimated damage to the door ripped to shreds is $1.
June 27, 9:11 p.m.: Patrol units were dispatched to the 1900 block of Mercy Drive regarding "a suspicious person who was walking around without clothes," according to Officer Carey's report. At the scene, Officer Bradley spoke with the 40-year-old male and determined that he was a victim rather than a perp/perv: "`The victim` had a single gunshot wound to the side of his abdomen," reports state. The victim would not cooperate with police; he refused to give his name or the name of the person who shot him.
A 49-year-old passerby, who refused to write a statement, would only tell police the names of the people she believed shot the victim in Palm Apartments. Once the victim was transported to ORMC he became a little more cooperative: He told police his name, and he said "a young black male at the Palm Apartments shot him with what he thought to be a BB gun," reports state. Guess it wasn't a BB gun, huh? He also told police the incident happened around 8:50 p.m., but the victim would not provide any other information. He would not press charges, and according to police reports he "voluntarily completed a Declination to Prosecute" form. Medical staff notified police that the victim's injuries were "non—life threatening."
Was he shot for being naked, or did he get naked after being shot? Police reports do not firstname.lastname@example.org