June 17, 2:32 a.m.: Heroes come in various shapes, sizes and forms. Officer Nguyen was dispatched to the 4700 block of Old Winter Garden Road in reference to a Sonitrol Alarm notification that "a white male was seen inside the business' fenced yard," reports state. Police surrounded the perimeter and a canine unit responded to the scene. The investigation revealed that the suspect had cut the fence in order to gain entry. "Once inside, the suspect(s) took two leaf blowers and two weed eaters from two trailers," reports state. Estimated damage to fence and trailer: $200. But the perp didn't make off with the booty. According to the report, "the stolen property was recovered by the cut fence." Way to go, fence! Guess the perp should have jumped the fence instead of cutting it; then maybe the fence wouldn't have gotten involved.
June 17, 5:50 a.m.: Here's an eldritch scene to start one's day: A 39-year-old complainant had just arrived for work in the 3900 block of Forrestal Avenue at around 5:40 a.m. when he heard sounds coming from the rear of the business. Could it be the security guard? Nah. The officer went back to investigate "and observed a metal pipe sticking through a hole in the rear metal wall of the business. The suspect was standing outside of the business and was using the pipe to try and fish out some copper wiring," reports state. The complainant ran back to the front of the business and called police. Officers arrived on the scene with canine unit in tow and established a perimeter, but he had already fled the area "and took the pipe with him." According to the police reports, the hole left by the suspect "was barely large enough for a pipe or arm to stick through," and caused an estimated $500 in damage, but it appeared nothing was taken. The scene was processed for fingerprints with negative results. Where was the faithful security guard during all this? "At the time of the burglary attempt, an on-site security guard was asleep in a vehicle at the front of the business and did not observe anything," reports state. Someone's looking for a new job, we'd guess.
June 19, 5:49 a.m.: Officer Barrett responded to Rinker Concrete in the 1400 block of Atlanta Avenue in reference to a commercial burglary and met with a 52-year-old complainant. It appears that sometime between 7 p.m. June 17 and 5:20 a.m. June 19 suspect(s) unknown knocked down the front gate to the business. Once inside, the perp(s) molested a $75,000 Komatsu five-wheel front-end loader and drove it halfway into a ditch. Then they moved to a $25,000 Hyster lift truck and drove it to the middle of the property, took four fire extinguishers that were placed at various locations around the property and discharged them — leaving one sitting in a water tank — and finally pried open an electrical box to one of the company's cement mixers. Estimated damages: $1,000 for the gate, $50 for the electrical box and $100 for the fire extinguishers. Though it appears that no damage was done to the earth movers, "It is unknown how the suspect started the machines." This seems like the activity of an unlearned anarchist(s): Sabotage is supposed to seem like natural deterioration, not wanton destruction.
June 19, 11:51 a.m.: Some perp(s) like it doggy door—style. Officer Curci was dispatched to the 500 block of Mills Avenue in reference to an "occupied residential burglary." The 78-year-old victim originally thought she lost her purse, but as it turns out, someone broke in while she was sleeping. The night before, she went to bed just after midnight, then was awakened around 5:30 a.m. by her dogs barking, but didn't see or hear anyone. According to police reports: "The victim noticed the clip, which secured the back door, was on the floor. The next morning, the victim realized the rod to the doggy door had been removed, which would allow entry." It appears the perp(s) entered the backyard by removing a clip to the gate, then removed the rod securing the doggy door, crawled into the living room through the door, removed the victim's purse from a dining room chair and exited the back door by removing the clip to the door's latch.
The next day, the victim received a call from construction workers. They found her purse under the overpass at Anderson Street and Mills Avenue. Officer Curci retrieved the victim's purse and processed it for fingerprints. Missing from the $5 purse was a set of car keys valued at $2 and $500 in cash.
June 19, 10:48 p.m.: The 51-year-old victim in this case was riding his bicycle down the sidewalk and was just about to enter his home when he saw, according to police reports, "a grey Cutlass Supreme two-door, possibly an '82 model, with a ‘heavy' muffler … occupied by three to four black males" creeping up to him. Before he knew what was going on, one of the suspects discharged his weapon and shot the victim several times. Officer Gabriel was dispatched to the 2000 block of Bruton Boulevard in reference to a shooting of a … paintball gun. "`The victim` stated he was terrified and scared; he thought he was shot with a real gun." Orlando Fire Department arrived on the scene and advised the victim to "put some ice" on the affected area. According to police reports, even though "the vehicle information was broadcast over all channels," the suspects were never firstname.lastname@example.org