News & Features » Police Beat

Police Beat



JAN. 3, 11:30 A.M.: Remember last week's column? The one; in which a prostitute stole a slumbering man's wallet? Well, it appears someone; may have been taking notes, as we have a suspiciously similar crime on our; hands this week.

The victim: A 56-year-old man, perhaps too; gullible. The suspect: A "drug-addicted prostitute," 20 years old, according to; police reports. The location: a house in the 2800 block of West Arlington; Street. After crashing at the man's house for a couple of days, the call girl; slipped outdoors to make a phone call. On her way out, she left the door; cracked open. While the chippie chatted, most curiously, a stranger found his; way inside the home through the open doorway. Surprising? I think not.

Upon greeting our victim, the stranger ordered him; to hand over all his cash, then pushed him onto a bed.

"I do not have any money," the victim screamed.; This turned out to be a prevarication, as a severe pistol whipping to the face; revealed. The victim, in fact, had $597 in cash, a cell phone and a wallet in; his pockets. The suspect fled the scene. The strumpet? Not seen again.

JAN. 3, 7 A.M.: Over the holidays, an elementary school; in the 400 block of North Tampa Avenue was broken into, perhaps by a hooligan; or hooligans embittered by the impending start of the spring semester. A window; was smashed, creating $500 worth of damage right off the bat. Inside, two; reptiles — a rat snake and a lizard — were kidnapped from the class aquarium.; And you can bet there were some disappointed little faces when the semester; began anew.

DEC. 31, 5 P.M.: Seriously, some burglars really know how; to top things off. At some point on New Year's Eve, a burglar or burglars broke; into a home in the 7200 block of Chelsea Harbour Drive. The home, locked and; secured, is still under construction. Upon discovering such an anomaly, this; author presumes, the burglar or burglars became very ill-tempered. There were; no laptops, gold rings or even frozen foodstuffs to steal. What to do? Damage; stuff, that's what.

The burglar or burglars headed for the bathrooms,; where they plugged the tubs with stoppers. Then they turned on the faucets.; Then things got really messy.

After two solid, soggy days of running water, our; not environmentally conscious suspect or suspects managed to cause an estimated; $15,000 worth of damages to the vacant home, and waste an awful lot of; perfectly good water.

DEC. 26, 11 A.M.: A woman, 30, and her husband were; enjoying a morning stroll through an apartment complex in the 4800 block of Raleigh; Street. This walk, however, came to a screeching halt when a group of; approximately 15 men, ranging in age from 18 to 25, approached the pair.; Immediately, the couple scrambled for safety, trying to walk around the; menacing apartment-lot congregation. This did not work. The duo was soon; cornered, and one of the men began grabbing and pulling at the woman's purse.

But instead of simply handing her handbag over, the; brave lady catapulted it and its contents into a patch of nearby bushes. Much; like a Labrador retriever, the purse snatcher bounded toward the brush, fetched; the purse and fled the scene on foot with his pack of cronies.

DEC. 25, 5:30 A.M.: A pizza joint was broken into on; Christmas day. For once, however, bubbly pies were not on the burglar's or; burglars' agenda. Our suspect or suspects obtained entry by unknown means. Once; indoors, amidst mounds of kneaded dough and refrigerated toppings, the burglar; or burglars hatched an ambitious plan: removing cash from an ATM.

The mammoth $7,000 apparatus was ripped from the; wooden floor to which it was bolted, causing a hefty $1,000 in damage. After; that Herculean endeavor, one of the perps took a hammer to the hapless; dispenser of cash, cracking it into pieces like a piggy bank. These determined; criminals got what they were after: $3,500 in cash, and another $500 from the; cash register. Then they took off out the back door.

DEC. 23, 4 P.M.: Stay seated, I have yet another tale of; sabotage to share with you.

Tonight's burglar or burglars broke into an unalarmed; business by prying the front door open. The usual goods were heisted — in this; case, a computer tower and a flat-screen monitor, plus another computer and its; attachments, all estimated to be worth $2,000. The night, however, was young.

Seizing the moment with full carpe diem spirit, the; suspect or suspects discharged the chemicals within one fire extinguisher; throughout the entire business' walls. Tack on another $1,000 of damages.

Most curiously, "The extinguisher used is not the; one belonging to the office, so it appears the suspect(s) brought the; extinguisher with them," police reports state. Now that's crooked.


We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club for as little as $5 a month.