Twas two weeks before Christmas, and all through the land
;Most votes had been counted (though not all by hand!);
;The election was over, with nary a winner,
;For the margin of vict'ry just couldn't be thinner.
All eyes were on Florida -- breathing was bated --
;While waiting for votes to be retabulated;
;The courts were all clogged, the lawyers suing,
;The crowds all a-dither -- some cheering, some booing.
The Bush folks were livid, sure their man had won,
;While the Gore people barked, "It ain't done till it's done!
;"A little more time, please; we'd really be glad,
;"If you'd count every dimple and each pregnant chad!"
But George had his brother, and Jeb had his gal,
;(How 'bout Katherine Harris? -- a heck of a pal!)
;And in case things got scary, they'd unleash their pet "meany,"
;With his own electors. (Of course, I mean Feeney!)
But in Leon County, State Court reigned Supreme:
;An edict went out, "Let the count reconvene!"
;The canvassers scurried, the cameras went whirring,
;While up in D.C. a great evil was stirring.
With a few hours gone, and a couple to go,
;Five grinches, a-fearing what the recount might show,
;Yelled, with power unchecked, and partisan fervor:
;"The law is at risk! It's our duty to serve her!"
"We're Rehnquist! O'Connor! We're Tony Scalia!
;"We're Kennedy! Thomas! And here's the idea. ...
;"You'll stop all this counting, by certiorari!
;(We know how we got here. ... and Jim Baker's so scary!)."
"Plead briefly before us, till this is resolved
;(Though we can't even say why we're getting involved);
;"But this case is so special, we'll break with tradition
;(To hell with "states' rights" or the voters' volition!)."
The sides went a-pleadin', the arguments flew,
;About justice and freedom and the rights of the few;
;But the five, they were heedless, their minds not obeyin'.
;No! Precedent, law nor the facts could not sway 'em.
Though Ginsburg and Souter and Stevens and Breyer
;Appealed to their cohorts: "Consider things higher. ...!"
;They stood fast in their evil, and firm in their mission,
;Court Jesters Supreme on the road to perdition.
The five grinches postured, by end of the day
;(While cloaking their crimes in a cynical way):
;"Your ‘standards' are fuzzy, you'll need to renew 'em!
;"Whoops, there goes the time! Guess you'll never redo 'em!"
And so the case ended, in jumbles of gibber
;That even the pundits could hardly configure;
;With votes left uncounted, an aborted election --
;The dubious outcome of. ... "equal protection."
When Al Gore conceded (though most thought he'd won),
;The saga was over, the nation. ... undone.
;The White House was robbed by five grinches in black.
;(And once it is taken, it's hard to get back.)
So with Christmas upon us, all revels and cheer,
;It's time to reflect on this dastardly year,
;When breached were the walls of democracy's fort.
;And the "will of the people"? Bush-whacked by the Court!