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AGE: I'm cute years old
GENDER: Gender is a social construct that I'm not into right now
CURRENT JOB: A live-in alarm clock for people who can't be trusted to wake up after the first five phone alarms go off
WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS? Me watching you watching The Aristocats
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR? A life without sunbeams
WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE
IN YOURSELF? Pffft. As if. I've been rated 17/10 on the pupper scale, so I'm basically perfect.
GUILTY PLEASURE: Dog food
SECRET WEAPON: Blue jewel eyes that make you forget that hairball I hacked onto your lap.
FAVORITE HANGOUT: Your warm armpit on a cold morning.
PEOPLE I ADMIRE: Devotees who take Zyrtec just to be in my presence