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The 12 cats of Christmas

No partridges, no pear trees, just a dozen Orlando kittens that need a new home

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Pothos

NAME: Pothos

AGE: I'm cute years old

GENDER: Gender is a social construct that I'm not into right now

CURRENT JOB: A live-in alarm clock for people who can't be trusted to wake up after the first five phone alarms go off

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS? Me watching you watching The Aristocats

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR? A life without sunbeams

WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE

IN YOURSELF? Pffft. As if. I've been rated 17/10 on the pupper scale, so I'm basically perfect.

GUILTY PLEASURE: Dog food

SECRET WEAPON: Blue jewel eyes that make you forget that hairball I hacked onto your lap.

FAVORITE HANGOUT: Your warm armpit on a cold morning.

PEOPLE I ADMIRE: Devotees who take Zyrtec just to be in my presence

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