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CURRENT JOB: Unemployed
JOBS BEFORE THIS: Amateur phone cord eater
AMBITIONS: To eat them cords, friend
WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS? Biting into a fresh, unbitten cord, which is a happy blend of crunchy and soft
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR? Cordless headphones
WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE IN OTHERS? People who tell me that eating cords is bad. To which I say, "You are all slaves to outdated norms, and I'm a gifted young cat who can eat whatever I want."
PEOPLE I MOST ADMIRE: Radio Shack employees
FAVORITE THING TO DO WHEN MY HUMANS ARE AWAY: Same thing I do when they're here: cordin'
DREAM OCCUPATION: Director of cord tasting at any publicly traded national cord manufacturer
FAVORITE QUOTE: "I live my life one cord at a time."